Relationship OCD / ROCD Test

Relationship OCD (ROCD) is a term for a type of Pure Obsessional OCD (Pure O) in which the sufferer experiences intrusive, unwanted and distressing doubts about the strength, quality, and “true nature” of their love for their partner.

While it may seem that the individual with ROCD has obsessions without compulsions, a review of his/her symptoms almost always reveals various compulsive behaviors, avoidant behaviors, reassurance-seeking behaviors, and “mental compulsions” which are not at first as easily observed as other, more obvious OCD compulsions.

The OCD Center of Los Angeles offers this confidential ROCD test in an effort to help you get a better idea of whether or not you are exhibiting signs of ROCD. Simply check those items that apply to you, and email it to us using the simple form below. While this questionnaire is not meant to replace a thorough evaluation, it may help in identifying traits of Relationship OCD (ROCD).

1. I often experience unwanted doubts about whether or not I actually love my spouse/partner.

2. I often experience unwanted doubts about whether or not I am sexually attracted to my spouse/partner.

3. During sex or other intimate moments (i.e., holding hands, kissing, or saying, “I love you”), I often monitor or mentally check my feelings of attraction and/or arousal.

4. I sometimes have sex with my spouse/partner in order to “check” for attraction, arousal and/or feelings of emotional connection.

5. I sometimes avoid sex with my spouse/partner, or avoid saying, “I love you”, or avoid other loving gestures (i.e., kissing, holding hands, etc.), in an effort to avoid having uncomfortable doubts about my relationship.

6. There are times when I do not feel turned on by the thought of intimacy or sex with my spouse/partner, and I worry that this is evidence that I do not love them, or that I’m not really sexually attracted to them, and therefore I am in the wrong relationship.

7. I often experience unwanted doubts about the physical attractiveness of my partner spouse/partner.

8. I often fixate on what I perceive to be flaws or negative aspects of my partner’s appearance or character.

9. I often mentally compare my spouse/partner to other people I view as attractive or desirable.

10. I often mentally review my current relationship and compare it with past relationships.

11. I often mentally compare my current relationship to my friends’ and family members’ relationships.

12. I often notice others who I perceive to be attractive, and I worry that this is evidence that I do not really want to be with my spouse/partner.

13. I sometimes have sexual thoughts, feelings, and/or fantasies about people other than my spouse/partner, and I worry that this is evidence that I do not really love my partner, and/or that I am in the wrong relationship.

14. I sometimes “test” my feelings by spending time with/flirting with others, or searching dating sites to see if I am attracted to others.

15. I avoid being around attractive or triggering people such as ex-lovers or others who I fear I may find attractive.

16. I mentally compare my relationship to thoughts and feelings expressed in love songs, romantic novels, TV shows, movies, etc.

17. I sometimes experience unwanted, intrusive doubts about my sexual orientation, and these thoughts lead me to question whether I am compatible with my spouse/partner.

18. I often experience unwanted doubts about the character or integrity of my spouse/partner.

19. I often experience unwanted doubts about the long-term compatibility of my spouse/partner and myself.

20. I sometimes enjoy “alone time”, and I worry that this is evidence that I do not really love my partner, and/or that I am in the wrong relationship.

21. In an effort to gain certainty about my relationship, I often seek counsel from friends, family, or mental health professionals about the attractiveness and/or compatibility of my spouse/partner.

22. In an effort to gain certainty about my relationship, I often search online about love or relationship issues.

23. In an effort to relieve my anxiety about my relationship, I sometimes confess to my spouse/partner that I am experiencing doubts about my feelings about them or about the viability of our relationship.

24. In an effort to relieve my anxiety about my relationship, I sometimes confess to my spouse/partner that I am physically/sexually attracted to other people.

25. I have broken up with my current partner on at least one occasion as a result of my unwanted doubts related to any of the above issues.

26. I have ended other relationships in the past because of similar doubts and concerns.

27. I often worry that I am in denial about having ROCD, and that I really just don’t love my spouse/partner.

28. I often worry that I am emotionally harming my partner because of my doubts related to any of the above.

29. My obsessional thoughts are interfering with my relationship, and/or with my academic or professional functioning.

30. Hours per day having obsessions about my relationship.

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